


Tobie Verse Drabbles

by LectorEl



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: (i.e. she's not white), All the usual animorph warnings, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Andalites, Ax has massive crushes on other andalite girls, Ax struggles with being a girl in a traditionally male occupation, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Gender-role issues, Genderswap, References to Homophobia, Tobie takes after Elfangor's human morph, girl!Ax, girl!Tobias, it's the nineties when Tobie and Rachel are dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LectorEl/pseuds/LectorEl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tobie becomes the honorary sister of Jake and Marco, gets stuck as a nothlit, dates another girl, and learns about the private rituals of andalite women.</p><p>(From this idea of mine on tumblr:<br/>....Female Ax and Tobias should be a thing. Where Ax’s excuses for not paying attention in class are still ‘there was a pretty girl.’ Tobie crushing on Rachel so, so hard, and Ax asking questions like ‘why don’t you kiss her? I have observed humans kiss each other often on ‘the young and restless’.<br/>Rachel dressing them both up and braiding their hair, and Tobie just looking at her like she hung the stars. Rachel kissing Tobie first, after a scary mission, and Tobie (after a long, frightened pause) kissing back. Tobie and Rachel going to the middle school dance together, and the rest of the animorphs running interference so no one gives them shit...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings

“Hey, Will, come see the freak!” The voice echoed through the gymnasium, and the few people still left after school winced.

Jake’s head shot up, dropping the basketball he’d been holding. “Something’s going on in lockers. I’ll be right back.”

“Like hell,” Marco said, already at his heals. “Isn’t that Dan in there?”

Jake made a face. “Probably. What do you guys think you’re doing?” he demanded as they raced into the gym bathroom. Dan and his cronies had a smaller boy’s head shoved down in one of the dirtier toilets, shirt falling down over -

\- _her_ head. The back of her bra was visible.

“Back off, Dan,” Jake ordered. He jerked Dan’s hands off the girl’s shoulders, helping her sit up carefully. “You okay?”

“Fine,” the girl gasped, shivering. Jake shot Dan a dirty look and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. Marco stepped up to flank him, glaring.

“Come on, I’ve got a sweater you can borrow in my locker, okay?” Jake asked. She nodded, fingers curling into the hem of Jake’s shirt.

“I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jake, what’s your name?” Jake prompted gently. She shook her head.

“Tobie. I’m new,” she said shakily.

Marco grinned at her. “Well, you’ve already met Jake prince charming, and I’m Marco, his smarter half.”

“Sure you’re not his knight?” she asked, and then blushed, looking down.

“She’s got you pegged, sir Marco,” Jake said, smirking at Marco over the top of her head.

Marco scowled. “Oh, shove off.”

Tobie giggled, patted Marco’s arm and said solemnly, “It’s okay, you were _very_ dashing.”

“ _Now_ you’re ganging up on me,” Marco sighed in theatrical resignation. “The unfairness of it all. It’s because I’m cute, isn’t it. You’re jealous.”

“Yes, Marco, that’s it,” Jake agreed, spinning the combo on his locker. “We’re jealous because you’re the prettiest princess. Here, Tobie.”

Tobie took the sweater, tugging it on over her dampened t-shirt. “Thanks,” she said quietly, amusement slipping from her expression. “I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”

Jake made a split-second decision. “Come sit with us at lunch, you can give it back then.”

“I’d – if that’s okay?” Tobie asked, worrying at the hem of the sweater.

“I can introduce you to my cousin Rachel, she’d like you.” Jake stuck out his hand. “Deal?”

“Deal.”


	2. Little Sister

With a final blast of fire, the enemy ship went down.

“Yes!” Tobie does this little victory dance right in the middle of the store. Marco grins over her head – Tobie is _tiny_ – and mouths something that’s probably something like ‘Tobie five, Jake _zero_.’ He’s really proud of how much he’s taught her about gaming. She’s like, his protege, or something.

It’s really cute, although you didn’t hear that from me. People mistake them for brother and sister a lot. They don’t look that alike, but they’ve both got olive skin and Tobie’s hair is close to brown in the right light. People make assumptions, I guess.

“Okay, you win, no need to rub it in,” I say, and smile to make sure she knows I’m not serious. “You coming over for dinner tonight? You can distract Tom for me.”

See, I didn’t make the basketball team. Try-outs were today, and I didn’t make the cut. No big deal, but Tom, my brother, was a big star on the high school team. Everyone had been expecting me to, easy and I’d messed it up. Me and Tom hadn’t been closely lately, and I’d been hoping … well, never mind what I was hoping. Wasn’t happening.

“Maybe,” Tobie shrugged, her thin tee-shirt shifting over her narrow shoulders. “My uncle …”

“Your uncle’s a jerk,” Marco put in. “Come on, we’ll just drop you off at your place, and you can sneak out your back window.”

Tobie smiled, this quick, flashing little thing, like she was afraid to admit she was tempted. “I’ll think about it.”


	3. The School Dance

Tobie was a shy kid. Still is, I guess. It’s hard to tell, behind the permanent hawk-eyed glare and her ability to take a man’s scalp off if she wants, but it’s true. She doesn’t like dealing with strangers, or crowds, or people paying too much attention to her.

Rachel talked her into coming to the dance, though. I’m glad. Tobie just light ups when Rachel’s with her. Rachel bought her entire outfit – dress, shoes, jewelry, make-up, everything. I’m pretty sure if Tobie let her, Rachel would have an entire wardrobe for her.

Marco had a sharp eye fixed on the dance floor. It’s sad, that we had to be this cautious, but a few of Tobie and Rachel’s dates had gone wrong before.

“We good?” Rachel asked. Tobie held her hand tightly, eyes darting about the room.

Marco nodded. “No chaperons around. I think you guys are safe.” Tobie sighed, tension slipping out of her shoulders, and Rachel took the moment to kiss her.

Ax frowned. “I do not understand. Stan. Duh. Why – ”

Jake cut him off by whispering something in her ear, which only made her frown deepen.

“I’ll explain more later tonight, alright?” I said, laying a hand on her arm. Ax really doesn’t get homophobia. It’s apparently not a thing with andalites.

“Here, like this,” Rachel said, taking Tobie’s hand and placing it on her shoulder. “First step forward, next step back. Easy.”

“Easy,” Tobie repeated dubiously. She still followed Rachel’s lead, though.

Marco made a disgusted sound. “They are _sickeningly_ cute. That’s just wrong.”

“Jealous you can’t get any of this?” Tobie asked, a sly smile lighting her face. “Don’t worry Marco, I know a few nice birds I could introduce you to.” Rachel practically cackled.

Jake snickered. “Tobie, one. Marco, zero. Thanks for playing.”

“None of you appreciate my genius,” Marco sniffed. “Hey, Ax, let’s get some punch, leave the lovebirds to themselves.”

“Lovebirds? Biiiirds. Duhs,” Ax said as she followed Marco over to the refreshments table.

“So,” Jake said, looking at me shyly. “Do you want to, you know…” and gestured out at the dancefloor.

I smiled. “Sure.”


	4. Dreaming of the Future (Today is not Enough)

“I think we should give Rachel a big round applause for not turning into a bear and gutting that guy,” Marco said, collapsing down onto one of the straw bales against the barn’s back wall.

«Shut up, Marco.» Rachel didn’t look up from where she – in eagle morph – was grooming my feathers. She picked up the habit recently, a few missions back. The hawk wasn’t sure she liked it, at first. Eagles and hawks aren’t natural friends. But Rachel was familiar, and grooming is the way to the hawk’s heart.

Mine too, honestly. For other reasons, though. I caught Rachel studying pictures of grooming birds once.

“No, I’m serious, applause, people. He totally deserved it,” Marco insisted.

«Shut up, Marco.» Thought-speech is easier to lie in, some ways. It’s harder for the others to read tone in it. I don’t have that problem, but then, I spend a lot more time ‘talking’ in it than the others.

Marco winced. “Shutting up, Tobie.”

Cassie grinned weakly. “Hey, look, he can be trained.”

«It’s a Christmas miracle,» Rachel said sourly. «I just want to go shopping with my girlfriend and kiss her under the mistletoe, it’s not like I was asking for an end to the war or anything.»

“Ask for an end to the war. You’re more likely to get it,” Marco said, disgust turning his voice. Cassie bit her lip, but didn’t contradict him. Even she wasn’t optimistic about human nature changing that much.

“Maybe you could go on a picnic next time? Less people,” she suggested.

Rachel let loose an irritated whistle. «I don’t want to go on a picnic, I want to go out in public with my girlfriend!»

«It’s okay, Rachel. I don’t mind,» I told her, though I do. There’s still a small, childish part of me that wants to have the sort of romance out of the fairy tales I once read. But Rachel’s better than that, and I’m not going to ruin that by risking everything.

What if she realizes, finally? That she’s dating am awkward, ugly girl trapped in the form of a hawk, when she could have any guy she wanted? When she could be normal?

Rachel accidentally yanked on a feather too hard, and I let a squawk of protest. «It’s _not_ okay, Tobie. Nobody has the right to say things like that to you. To us.»


	5. After the War

“I loved her,” Tobie said on national television that first week after the war, face as blank as her eyes were blade-bright, dressed in humanity like a poorly-fitted suit. “What else is there to say? She died, and I loved her.”

“Like a sister, of course,” the talk show host says, and Tobie shakes her head.

“Like a girlfriend,” Tobie says, and ignores the shock that permeates the room.

Tobie, too, can be brave.

***

She talks to Rachel, sometimes.

Little things, like «I caught a skunk today. Accidentally. I had to morph five times to get the smell off.»

or «Today I went to the mall as Taylor, wearing that dress you liked.»

or «Did you know someone wrote a romance novel about us? I couldn’t finish it.»

And Rachel – the Rachel who lives in the back of her mind, the ghost of a ghost, answers _'Remember the time with the grape juice? You're lucky you know more than Vissor Three did.'_

or ‘ _Taylor, Tobie, really? You know that’s not healthy. And you never wear the green skirt I got you.’_

or _'Tell me I killed something in it, at least. Or get Marco to sue the publisher for slander.'_

She talks to Marco, too, and Ax and Cassie. Never Jake. Jake is an open wound, and she hates how much she misses him. Hates how thinking of him makes her want to be human and cry in his lap like a little girl.

Rachel was her girlfriend. Jake was her brother. She lost them both with Rachel’s death, lost her whole family, and she misses them all, a tangle of hurt and need like a cancer growing under her breast.

***

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Marco says, once the doors of his rented villa are closed. Tobie shrugs awkwardly, draped in one of Marco’s dress shirts.

“I -” her voice fails her. «I had to see this through.»

Marco nods, and doesn’t comment on her use of thought-speak. “I’ll make some calls, get you some clothes for the hearing. Something in red.”

Tobie smiles for that, deliberately, the stretch of her mouth strange. «Rachel thought I looked good in green.»

“Green, then,” Marco says, in the silence that falls. He laughs, suddenly, mouth twisting wryly. “Rosemary, for remembrance. The only thing I remember from Hamlet. Did I tell you I failed my GED last month?”

Tobie closes her eyes, memories bittersweet rising. «Idiot teenagers with a death wish, and failing grades in math.»

“Remember when Rachel tossed her math book into the river?” Marco askes. Tobie nods and swipes at her watering eyes.

"Towards - towards the end. Cassie did too.” Her voice breaks. «I miss her so much, Marco. What am I supposed to do?»

Marco takes a shuddering breath, and opens his arms to her. “I don’t know, little sister.”


	6. The In-Between

War-Prince Elfangor was a hero. To the point that Aximili's relation to him was argument enough for her to be lead towards military service. His actions, his great service, was such that even a sister would be wanted among the warriors.

She was, ever and always, acutely conscious of her position, of her need to be the perfect aristh, beyond reproach, better than all her male peers. She didn't always succeed.

How was she supposed to concentrate on dry statistics about wildly unlikely consequences of z-space travel when Darrasth-Linal-Farragih was standing beside her? Darrasth was beautiful in a way Aximli wasn't and couldn't be. Her fur was the same amethyst of river-grass, and her stalk-eyes were so graceful and delicate...

Aximili pawed at the ground discontentedly. Darrasth was going to be a scientist. It was not that Aximili _wanted_ to be a scientist, but she wasn't sure she wished to be a warrior either. She was an in-between creature, seen as neither male nor female, incompetent at being either.

«You look troubled, Aximili,» Darrasth said, resting a graceful hand on Aximili's arm. «Is something wrong?»

«I'm not allowed to attend morning rituals with the other Arisths,» Aximili admitted, tail drooping. «Because they are men's rituals.»

Darrasth curled her tail around Aximili's own in sympathy. «You could join the genetics apprentices, if you want. We're all female, so we do the women's rites instead.»

«I never learned those.» Aximili tucked her arms close, shame burning hot in her veins. «Mother wasn't - she said she wasn't sure if it was appropriate, considering.»

«Then I'll teach you.»

***

_From the Earth Diary of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill:_

My niece, Tobie, has never learned the morning rituals. An entirely understandable thing, as she is human. Humans, I nave noticed, do not have the rituals andalites do. At least, not the humans I have personally encountered. Some of the books I have read have implied that this is different among other human groups.

Tobie's mother is human, and even in a better world, it would fall to me to teach her these rituals. The daughter of an andalite, born human, now a red-tailed hawk. Someday, when the war is over, if we both survive, I will be the one to introduce her to her other homeworld. I do not wish her to feel she has not been prepared. We are both in-between creatures, my niece and I, and we must make our own places.

«I don't look like you,» Tobie says, thoughtful. It's true. She is more slender, the muscle of her tail less pronounced, her fur smoother. My genetics, without the influence of my upbringing. She smiles, her eyes bright and eyestalks gently curving.

She takes a step, and then another. «Oh, _wow_. This – you feel like this all the time?»

«Somewhat. What you're experiencing is instinct, and we are trained to temper that,» I say, but cannot help but smile back at my niece's joy. She is so rarely uncomplicatedly happy. There is time enough to teach her later.


End file.
